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" A new way of prayer - " My mind can be cleansed, enabling new creative energies to arise" |
This was a conversion which led me into a new way of prayer – the way of silence, of quiet, of simplicity. My natural way of prayer, which was mixed in with my daily life, was always there and will always be very much part of me as is the importance of the reading of scripture. But prayer of the heart was a way of leaving self behind in order to let the spirit of Jesus - God who is birthed deeply and eternally within the ground of my being, do his transforming work. It has the capacity to change me, and I believe that this is one of the most important and essential things for living out my everyday life and for spiritual growth.
These quiet times, together with the reading of scripture, bring about the realisation of the powerful ego at work and of my nothingness in relation to the tremendous power of God and of the gifts that I have been given through Jesus: of grace, forgiveness, salvation and love. I find that the fruits of these prayer times are experienced in and through each new day. The richness which is born out of this struggle for poverty, for simplicity, is a new understanding of compassion and of what love, forgiveness and reconciliation can be about. I am led to understand and see my relationships in a different way, both in my family and in my community. I am also given strength to acknowledge the innate dark side of myself which will always be there. Being made aware of the frailty and weakness of my human nature, I realise it is something that I can work at in tiny different ways each day, and that it is through these silent prayer times, that my mind can be cleansed, enabling new creative energies to arise; allowing new transformations to take place; bringing a realisation of new life and a richer sharing in the community of my church. Music for me has always been a very powerful language. Although I have always been involved with music, I only started composing very late in life. Around 1994 I had begun working with a close friend Sr Pamela Hayes, a Sacred Heart nun, helping her with retreats and days of spirituality, music and prayer. She rang me one day saying she was organizing an international conference and that she was looking for music as a preparation for prayer. She then asked me if I would write some music. I naturally told her that I didn’t write music and that I certainly could not do this. She immediately came back and said “Of course you can. Get your head down and get on with it. I will ring you in a couple of week’s time.” Well there was no arguing with Pamela so reluctantly I tried to get down to it. |